Play On.

Watch a New Vita Game Teaser, ‘Open Me!’

That’s a new teaser for some sort of Vita game, right up there. Other than two sharp-dressed men finding themselves in some kind of box hell, and locating some Vitas hidden inside one of them with more boxes in it, I literally have no idea what is going on.

It’s a well-done teaser, that’s for sure. A site for the project has gone live here, and the only info of note is that it’s a downloadable title. Perhaps the glory of Tokyo Game Show will unveil this mystery to us, but for now, we’ll need to remain patient for this mystery of impenetrable fortitude can be lifted. For real.

For now? Remember my word of advice: if you find yourself waking up out of a daze in a strange room with another man, who could have brought you there, fondled you while you slept, etc., amongst boxes that say “Open Me,” definitely do not open them. What the fuck is wrong with you? Look for the door or something, God. What if there was, like, rotten fish or anthrax or Woopie Goldberg pornography or something in them? You’re better off not getting clubbed in the back of the head, molested, and then ending up in the boxes. All of them.

 

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